The Ghosting Dilemma: Why Do People Disappear in the Age of Connections

Well, hi there lovers. After a little break, what might have felt like a disappearing act to some of you. I am back and ready to talk about ghosting.

In this modern era of constant connectivity, it seems that disappearing acts have become all too common. Today, we explore the reasons behind this ghostly behaviour and shed some light on the motivations that drive people to vanish without a trace.

Okay so, ghosting refers to the act of abruptly cutting off communication with someone without any explanation or closure.

The emotionally devastating impact of ghosting can leave the recipient feeling confused, hurt, and questioning their self-worth. It disrupts trust and leaves a lingering sense of unanswered questions. It disrupts trust and leaves a lingering sense of unanswered questions.

The Ghosting Spectrum.

Ghosting exists on a spectrum, ranging from casual acquaintanceships to serious romantic relationships. I find that it also commonly occurs in friendships and professional relationships.

Online Dating & Ghosting: The rise of online dating has made ghosting more prevalent, with the abundance of options and the perception of easy replacements leading ‘new friends’ to vanish without a second thought.

Understanding the Motivations.

These in my opinion are the general three that are socially very common.

Fear of Confrontation: One of the primary reasons people choose to ghost is their avoidance of uncomfortable conversations or confrontation. They may believe that disappearing is the easier way out. So to those slackers (and sometimes to myself) I say: “Grow a pair.”

Emotional Immaturity: Some individuals lack the emotional maturity to communicate openly and honestly about their feelings. Ghosting becomes a way to escape facing their own emotions and taking responsibility for their actions. That’s just how they are, and they don’t know another way. Should we choose to accept that behaviour? It’s up to us and how invested we are. You can work with this though, as immaturity only means that there is room for growth.

Lack of Interest or Compatibility: Ghosting can also occur when one party loses interest or realises a lack of compatibility. Rather than addressing the issue directly, some people opt for a silent exit.

Or there could be a combination of all 3. Either you’ve lost interest in someone, they’ve done something offensive, you see no point in going further. You then don’t have the character to be straight up with them, or don’t see the point in exhausting yourself with explanations.

The other less talked about reasons and motivations imho could be:

Additionally, there are other less talked-about motivations, such as going through rough times or mental health issues that haven't been disclosed early on in the relationship. It's important to acknowledge the impact of mental health, but also remember that with support and a desire for improvement, everything can be recoverable and fixable.

They were two-timing you and got caught in the act. It happens! You might have even done it yourself :) Let me share a story with you. I once went on a date, and during that time, I started receiving messages from the girlfriend of my date! Now, most people would have probably ghosted this guy, but not me. I quickly messaged the girl, letting her know the restaurant we were at, excused myself to the bathroom, and left the building. I decided to let the atomic bomb blow up without me, but oh, how I wish I had stayed for the show, can you imagine!

Ghosting may have become a pervasive aspect of modern relationships, but it doesn't have to define our interactions. By understanding the motivations behind ghosting and actively working towards open communication, empathy, and personal growth, we can create more fulfilling connections. Let us strive to build a culture of honesty, respect, and emotional maturity, where ghosting becomes a relic of the past.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of ghosting, focus on self-care and healing. Seek closure within yourself and surround yourself with supportive friends who uplift you. Remember, any situation is just a situation. It only becomes dark or light depending on what colours you yourself paint it.

Have fun out there, look after each other and most importantly look after yourselves. So that you have the mental capacity to have this difficult conversations and have them in an empathetic way.
 

Love,
Lexi, XX