Sex as a Sport: The Hilarious Saga of Sweden's Faux Championship

Last weekend, rumours spread like wildfire that Sweden had officially registered sex as a sport. Can you imagine? The first country in the world to host a European Sex Championship! But hold your horses, my little fitness fanatics, because it turns out it was all a big, fat fake. Still it got me thinking what would it look like and I just had to find out the details.

The gossip mill started churning when Twitter erupted with details of this supposed championship. Apparently, the Swedish Federation of Sex, led by the charmingly named Dragan Bratych, had submitted an application to the National Sports Confederation to be recognised as a legit sport. Now, this Dragan fellow, bless his heart, happens to run a few strip clubs down in southern Sweden. He boldly claimed that sex is just like any other sport. Well, Dragan, I must say, you certainly onto something!

But alas, the dream of sex becoming a competitive sport was quickly shattered. Our trusty Swedish news outlet, Goterborgs-Posten, reported back in April that the National Sports Confederation had rejected Dragan's application. Ouch, talk about a buzzkill! Apparently, it was "incomplete," and they weren't the only ones to face rejection. Four other confederations were left feeling blue as well.

Now, let's delve into the juicy details of the supposed European Sex Championship. According to those cheeky media reports, this championship would span a tantalising six weeks. Participants would engage in sexual activities under the watchful eyes of judges, exploring 16 different disciplines. Oh my, darling, we're talking about seduction, oral sex, penetration, and so much more! Some reports even claimed these steamy competitions could last a mind-boggling six hours a day. Stamina indeed!

The alleged championship was set to include a diverse array of participants from various countries, all vying for the title. A panel of three judges would decide the victor, and let's not forget the audience ratings. Because what's a sex championship without some good ol' public opinion?

Now, here's where things get really interesting. The competition's disciplines were absolutely titillating! Picture this: oral sex, seduction, endurance, number of orgasms, and even a knowledge test about sex. Talk about multitasking, huh! But that's not all—participants were also expected to showcase their prowess in chemistry, communication between partners, and appearance. It's like a spicy mix of athleticism and beauty pageants. Truly groundbreaking!

The organisers of this fantastical event encouraged participation from people of all sexual orientations. They envisioned a world where sex could be celebrated as a legitimate sport, incorporating different tactics and strategies. Oh, the possibilities!

Dragan Bratych, the mastermind behind the Swedish Federation of Sex, passionately believed in the inevitable recognition of sex as a sport. He argued that just like any other athletic endeavour, achieving desired results in bed requires training. You have to admire his dedication to the cause, don't you? I do.

But alas, my lovelies, it was all too good to be true. The reports, the championship, the tantalising disciplines—nothing but a clever ruse. Sweden, the land of beautiful people and progressive ideas, did not officially register sex as a sport. Our fantasies have been dashed against the rocks of reality.

So, my favourites, as we bid adieu to this steamy mirage, I leave you with a question: Are you guys up for it? Should sex be considered a sport? And if it were, would it be a team sport? The burning curiosity in me wonders, who would be on the panel of judges. And where do you apply ;)

Stay safe, stay playful and have fun out there!

 

Love,
Lexi, XX