HEARD OF THE SMART PHONE, NOW WELCOME THE "SMART CONDOM".
The digital age has it’s good points and it’s bad, the useful and the useless. As far as I’m concerned the smart condom goes into the “useless pile of crap” basket, well that’s my personal opinion anyway. So what is it, well it’s basically a “fitbit” for your cock. Another tool for tools to measure up their manhood with, a glorified cock ring. Basically it neither looks like a condom nor does it behave like a conventional condom. It doesn’t protect men or women from STI’S and pregnancy is most certainly a possibility. Nope this smart condom is simply a way to keep score. Thankfully it doesn’t measure penis size as well, like we need more penis envy in society.
So how does it work and what does it do exactly? Just like a cock ring the smart condom sits at the base of the penis, and just like the one for running it measures the number of calories burnt but during sex. It also measures the number and speed of a man’s thrust, the duration and frequency of his sex and even goes so far as to count how many different positions he may use over the course of a week, month or year. Ha, I can just see hackers hacking into the smart condom data base to alter their sexual proficiency and prowess for all the world to see. What am I talking about, well the wonderful benefit of this new condom that’s not an actual condom, is that you can compare your performance with like minded users around the world, exciting! Um, it sounds more like someone might need to go get some actual sex.
So ladies, looking for that perfect Christmas gift for your slightly sexually inadequate partner, something to boost his ego perhaps. Well, look no further than the i-Con. Unless of course your better half happens to be a one position, three thrusts, one minute man, then maybe just stick to the usual novelty socks.
May the wonders of technology never cease to amaze me.
Love Lexi XXX