What is stashing?
You’ve heard of ghosting and catfishing, but have you heard of stashing? While uncovering what is stashing we identify red flags to help you avoid it when searching for love! Now that our relationships are more digital, its no wonder people are keeping quiet online about new lovers. Stashing is the action of keeping your options open by hiding who you are with.
Stashing is defined by Metro UK writer Ellen Scott as being kept a secret. “A victim of stashing is hidden from every other part of the stasher’s life. Why? Because that way, they are able to pretend that they are not really dating the person they are stashing.”
How to know you have been stashed?
After a certain point in a relationship, it's natural to start becoming public. Sharing posts of your significant other, places you are together and even introducing you to their friends and family.
If you have been hanging out a lot and going on a bunch of dates, you have publicly posted about your relationship and their social media is silent. Never posting about you on social media means they can publically front that they are still single.
Do they avoid getting you to meet their friends and family if they’re keeping your secret from their friends and when the time comes family this is a major red flag?
What if we have only just started dating?
Don’t panic - speak first!
Approach your significant other and tell them that you feel like your relationship is at the level of being public and you assumed they did too. Ask if they truly want to be public and if they don’t figure out if you need to leave or give them more time! Ultimately, speaking to them is the best answer to figuring out why they are radio silent about you on social media when introducing friends or initiating family meets. If you want to take a subtle approach to tell them “I’d love to hang out with you and your friends.”
It’s the new “what are we” talk.
In the modern era going public is more than just meeting the parents. Often the first step is posting a couples photo online or a photo of your significant other. If you’re being stashed and kept quiet figure out why, maybe they don’t want to become more - or maybe they have other reasons. Either way, this is the modern version of the “what are we” talk.