The occasional disagreement between you and your penis is common and normal. However, if it is happening more often than not, it's going to affect your love life and your mental health. Say it happens one off at the end of a long stressful week or maybe after a lot of alcohol or drugs, both a known erection killer, its nothing to worry about. If its a one-off and next time you're UP and at it it's fine. However, if it's commonplace to have issues getting it up and coming too soon, it is something to consider talking to your health professional about.
After a few dysfunctions, performance anxiety becomes another obstacle to overcome. The fear of knowing it might not work well might lead you to not bother at all or to expect it not to go well when it could have. This performance anxiety will cause great stress on your mental health as you begin to feel inadequate and may even struggle with your masculinity as you are not performing.
You're not alone!
If you're in your 40's rest assured you're not alone in this issue. Erectile problems affect 40% of men in their forties and as you get older the higher the stats get. If you're depressed, anxious, on some different medication, have high-stress levels, you're unfit, smoking or have high cholesterol or blood pressure you're not only at risk for cardiovascular disease, you're at risk for erectile dysfunction.
Speak to your GP!
If any of this sounds at all like you, go speak to your GP! identify yourself for any health risks and get them checked. Further, your GP can provide recommendations to help break that performance anxiety, even recommend and refer you to a psychologist for expert help.
In the meantime...
...be open and honest with your partner, let them know you're having trouble getting it up and when it comes to getting off its too soon. Divert the focus away from you and your penis during these moments and pay even more attention to them. Try squeezing the tip of your penis firmly for a few seconds until the urge to cum subsides. Be patient with yourself when getting it on.
Be healthy for your Penis’s Sake!
Make sure you're eating healthy and exercising, laying off the alcohol and overall being as healthy as you can so you can get off easily for as long as possible. With the odds stacked against you as you get older, if you disregard your health now its at the sacrifice of your sex life. If you need a superb reason to put down the beer and hit the gym, do it for the sake of your penis.
Lots of Love,