THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH....FACT OR FICTION?
So you’re in a brand new relationship & everything is unicorns & roses. And so it should be it’s the honeymoon period, you’re both very much in love, at least one of you thinks “they’re the one” & you can envision settling down. Everyone you come across tells you both they can see even from afar how much in love you both are & you both blush every time you catch a glimpse of each other from across the room. You fall asleep in each other’s arms & wake in the very same position the next morning. Both of you end up saying I love you at least ten times a day, not to mention how many times you say it in text. You stop hanging out with friends because neither of you need anyone but each other & you spend every waking moment together vowing eternal love. Sex is explosive, humping 3-5 times a day, not unusual & every round hits a home run with a climax. Wow, life is good!
Fabulous, it all sounds incredible & so it should be, you’re in the beginners round & everything is breezy because you haven’t encountered reality yet. For me, I think the honeymoon period is like a one day match & you have to get through a number of one day matches before you can play with the big boys in the test match. You need to have a lovely grace period before the hard work of a relationship hits, because when it does you’re going to need all those beautiful memories to remind you why you fell in love. You’ll need those sweet days to look back to because after many years of being together it gets tough, really tough & I’m not even throwing children into the mix yet.
After a number of years living, breathing & sleeping together things can change. Life gets in the way & you can end up losing your perspective, you can end up forgetting why you both fell in love in the first place. Stress, bills, work, arguments, jealousies, all these things start to get to you once you’ve moved on from the honeymoon period. Even your sex life can waver & we all know by now that sex is the biggest form of stress relief & if neither of you are having any, then you’re both stressed out! You also end up finding things out about each other that may annoy you & that’s when things can get a bit dangerous. That’s when you can fall out of love, I’m not saying you won’t love one another but being “in love” & loving each other are two totally different things. After seven years together you have to put the hard yards in, you have to remember that a relationship is constantly evolving because you evolve as a person. Sometimes you change as a person but your partner may not change with you or even in the same direction & when this happens you’ll have to remember what’s important to you both. Remember what I said about needing those honeymoon period memories, this is where you’ll need them most.
At this seven year point if things aren’t going great you can easily drift apart, I mean we all need our space but not that much space. Worst thing is you stop talking & you really do stop talking about each other, you stop talking through your problems & get angry.
So that’s the seven year itch for you, so what are you supposed to do? I remember my husband & I said we’d never become a statistic, that we’d work every day to keep us afloat, but we didn’t & we ended up really disliking each other. It took us a long time before we decided to have a real hard look at what had gone wrong but when we did we found that our relationship was worth saving. The reality is sometimes it’s not worth saving but you still need to talk about it, try to give it a proper go before you throw it all away. There are so many things you can do to rediscover that love again. Screw everything, go back to being honeymooners, do all the things you did when you first got together, screw in the park, fondle each other secretly in public, go skinny dipping, go fruit picking in summer & get sick on all the berries you’ve gorged. Jump in the car & drive, drive anywhere just drive. Away from your worries, away from the stress, away from the disappointment in the thing you thought would be perfect forever. Because you know what, nothing & no one is perfect, ok so what if you’re partner turned out not to be everything you thought, they feel the exact same way about you. Get off your high horse & appreciate what’s there & not what you dreamed was there. Do you know what I found to be the key to getting over the seven year itch, it’s simply this……….be selfless, make it all about your loved one, but this only works if you’re both on the same path, that way you take care of each others needs always!
Relationships are like life itself, it’s only complicated if you make it complicated. It’s so simple, always communicate, without communication nothing ever gets solved. Don’t ever forget to have fun & laugh, laugh at things rather than get angry at them, life’s too short to make the things we have control over, difficult. And if you have kids, don’t use them as an excuse, they should be an excuse you should try to make it work not a reason to fuck it all away. If it’s worth it, you can make it work & if there was a time your whole world lay in the eyes of your beloved, then it’s worth it!
So I believe in the seven year itch, but I also believe you can scratch that itch away!
Love Lexi XXX