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WEIRD JAPANESE SEX TOYS!

     Sometimes when I’m doing my research I come across the most hysterical things. So the reason I like to share them with you all is because I’m guessing that you’re probably not searching for these items yourselves, or are you? In any case, I just have to share even if it’s for a laugh but if you do end up being truly interested in one of these objects after reading this, then you really are a freaky one.

     I’m not even 100% sure what to call this thing so let’s call it a blow job mouth guard. Strangely enough it seems functional, I mean let’s face it when you’re giving a blow job for ages it’s damned tiring so having a mouth guard in place to keep your mouth open, seems practical….lol. From what I can gather this toy is a silicon mouth that’s left perpetually open. It has I little bit of a canal that sits just on the inside of the mouth and covers your teeth entirely and has soft silicon lips that cover your own. It’s pretty weird but the more I look at it the more I think it’s actually functional. I mean what’s the bane of all good blow jobs, teeth and a small mouth opening. Well this toy seems to eliminate both issues, it covers the teeth and stretches the mouth out to full capacity. The problem is though that it doesn’t seem like you’d be able to close your mouth to put added pressure on the penis so you lack the whole sucking motion completely. That ends up being it’s downfall, I mean when you’re giving a blow job the whole pleasure for the recipient lies in the fact that you can give varying degrees of pressure and suction with your mouth technique, so if you can’t actually open and close your mouth you lose that sensation. Now I haven’t forgotten the obvious, this thing looks absolutely ridiculous, really it truly is horrendous, it just looks wrong! Let’s face it, there is no way in hell that my man or anyone else’s for that matter, would be able to retain a hard on while having to look at your face when that thing is sticking out of your mouth right? Ok it might work if you turned the lights off, covered your window with total blackout curtains, and put the thing on under the covers, then and only then it may have, and I mean may have, a chance!

     Sometimes I sit here and wonder who in the hell thinks of these things, I mean is it an actual job to have someone sit there, day in day out and think of the weirdest, craziest and most ludicrous sex toys to flood the market with? Is it, is it actually someone’s job to do that because I could do that job, seriously if someone reading this happens to be the CEO of Stupidfreakishanduseless.com ….. I’m your gal! LOL!!!

 

 

Love Lexi XXX

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